Friday, January 7, 2011

High School *Daze*

Me nine months pregnant.

I'm not sure how the tiny little girl at the top of this post became the young adult at the bottom, but she did. Last night the whole family attended Laurel's first high school meeting. Yes, I said high school. The meeting was quite ridiculous. I know I'm young to have a high school age child, but the entire meeting was about what you are supposed to do in high school (do your homework, they said.) what the requirements for graduation are (pass most of your classes, they said) and don't forget that colleges actually look at your GPA before they let you in (really?!?)
I kept looking at Jay, searching for some sort of confirmation that these people are crazy. I was JUST in high school. Things haven't changed much, besides technology, and the fact that they have to pass a graduation test. I cannot imagine that everyone there is so old that when they drove to school in the trans am it was an eight track and not a cassette tape they listened to to get geared up for the day. I was wrong. I felt completely out of place, and again, the fact that I am way too young to be the mother of this incredibly mature, intelligent young lady was right there in my face. I have been mistaken by some of her less intelligent friends as her sister, but that's not really the norm. I don't notice people having a reaction to the two of us often, except last night, I felt like I was going to get asked what classes I was choosing for the first semester.

The other day, Laurel brought me a list of colleges she wants to go to. She did all of the research, and wrote all of the pertinent information down. She has decided to start with Criminology. Okay. I can deal with that. She even choose schools that are close enough to potential posts that we might be nearby enough to help her out while she goes to school, but what struck me was that she has learned something very important from us. She, instead of giving in to the fear, and her not wanting to be this old yet (She has Peter Pan syndrome like I've never seen) she faced it. She did her research, made decisions, and instigated a plan. Just like Jay and I do every time we make a major decision. She may not have been involved in any of those decisions, but she sure was paying attention, and taking notes.
I just need to pretend to not be freaked out long enough to let her go. Ahh! I have spent the past almost fourteen years keeping such a close eye in this kid. I've tried to teach her self reliance, while knowing I'm right behind her to catch her if she messes up, I've taught her to value honesty and integrity, and to not take any crap from the boys around her. I've tried to instill a respect for the past, and value the wisdom people may impart to her. I know she's trustworthy, and intelligent. I know she's just paranoid to keep herself reasonably safe, but I cannot help but feel this stabbing panic take over any time I think about my Boogie Bear actually getting into a car and leaving home for college.
You might think that that's almost five years away from now, so why are you freaking out now? but do you remember how fast high school seemed to go by? I was just three years older than her when I got pregnant with her. I was the same age she is now when I first met her father. THAT is what has me at a loss for breath. The only thing that gets me past this panic is the fact that I am actually still young enough to remember all of the trouble, and all of the cover stories. So when she does try to pull one over on me, I hope that I have an advantage over all of those parents that actually needed last night's meeting.
I may need a prescription to get through the next eight years.

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